The Wisdom of My Son

So yesterday I was having a conversation with my 19 year old son about what kind of woman he would marry one day and whether or not he would date/marry a woman that wears her hair natural.

His first comment was that HE HATES WEAVE! Yes he hates it. He doesn't really care whether a woman relaxes her hair or wears it natural just as long as she is confident and keeps it looking nice. He says that to him its important for a woman to just be comfortable with who she is. He hates to see women use makeup, hair, clothes to validate who they are. Even though they try to pretend that they are not doing that it is very obvious.

He then looked at me and said Mom I liked your hair when it was relaxed, but I like it even more now that you are natural. I said why? He said because you are not allowing your hair to dictate your life. Before you wouldn't do things or go places because you were so afraid of messing up your hair or "sweating out your perm".  He said now you seem more free and you are more fun.

I was like wow. I didn't realize that my son was so observant when it came to my hair. But it shows me that men are very observant. My husband even loves my natural hair, why? Because now we go to the gym together, we play racquetball (in that hot box), we get in the whirlpool (another hot box), and the sauna (a even hotter hot box) and I even get in the swimming pool (i can't swim). I do feel more free and more fun. Don't get me wrong some days I have bad hair days and good ones, but now I take my bad hair days and turn them into fun days.

So to all my sisters out there whatever decision you make about being natural, just remember that it will be a decision that you will have to live with for the rest of your life and it wont just affect you but it will impact everyone and everything around you. So in the words of my son JUST DO YOU BOO!

Hair Update

Yeah I know its been a long time since my last post. Well Thanksgiving is over and man was it GREAT! Not only was all of the food great, but being with my family - Priceless.  I love my family and it is not until you spend a day with them that I realize just how blessed I am.

So now for my hair.

Well I have officially been natural for 1 month coming up on 2. Its been a journey, but its been fun. I have learned so much about the texture of my hair, what my hair likes and doesn't. Lets not talk about Products! Lord have I been through some stuff. It seems the things my "transitioning" hair liked, my all natural hair just doesn't.

Currently I'm using the following:

Carol Daughters Black Vanilla Leave-In Conditioner (Holy Grail)
Carol Daughters Black Vanilla Smoothie Deep Conditioner (Holy Grail)
Carol Daughters Black Vanilla Shampoo (Holy Grail)
Paul Mitchell Tresseme Naturals Conditioner
Trader Joes Tea Tree Tingle Conditioner

Shea Moisture Restoritive Leave In Conditioner (Holy Grail - Leaves my hair so moisturized)
Curls Unleashed Curling Jelly (Holy Grail - This stuff is amazing)
Quidad Mongongo Oil (Awesome)
Castor Oil
Olive Oil
Jojoba Oil

My wash routine is pretty much the same and happens every Saturday. I love my Saturdays, my hair loves it too.

Not sure yet what "special" all natural feeling I should be feeling but for now I feel so free. People love even envy my hair, and as each day passes I fall more and more in love with my hair. Its growing pretty good and its very healthy.

This is an awesome journey, and can say I will NEVER EVER go back to the Creamy Crack - For Me Crack is WHACK!!

Happy Holidays All.

Winter Hair Regimen

So this weekend I'm going to switch up my wash day regimen for the Winter to try and combat dryness and retain some moisture. Here is what I plan on doing:

1. Wash hair with Carol Daughters Black Vanilla Shampoo (this is sulfate free, although it does sud like crazy)..I love it. While shampoo is in my hair I start my "finger" detangling.
2. Rinse out Shampoo, Apply Tresseme Naturals Moisturizing Conditioner - leave in for about 10 minutes while I continue to detangle using fingers and wide tooth comb. Wash out
3. Deep Condition - So I'm going to amp up my deep conditioner. I use the Carol Daughters Black Vanilla Smoothie, and now I'm going to add to it some castor oil and coconut oil before applying to my slightly damp hair, making sure I get it good into the roots and ends of my hair. After working it in thoroughly I will apply my Hair Therapy Heat Wrap (love this thing!) for about 45 min. I will leave the DC in my hair overnight (bag it and put on bonnet). I like leaving in my DC overnight, my hair responds better to this. I did this even when I was transitioning.

 NEXT DAY

1. Wash Out DC - soak out excess water with my cotton t-shirt
2. Spray hair with my Aloe Vera Juice/Rosewater-Glycerine/Bottle Water Mix, massage into hair
3. Apply my Paul Mitchell "The Conditioner" leave-in
4. Apply one of my oil concoctions (not sure which one) to seal in all that good moisture
5. Finger Coil my hair using my Eco Styler Gel (Clear) and let my hair air dry

I will leave the coils in for a few days and then unravel them probably on day 3. Each morning and night spritz hair with Aloe Vera Juice mix for moisture.

Week #2 as a New Natural

Happy Friday, My Natural Sistah's. Well I just finished week 2 of being 100% Natural, and I must say it was sweet. I guess each day I'm waiting to feel something different, hate my hair, or burst out in tears because I know longer have my Creamy Crack. But surprisingly, this week I fell deeper in love with my locks. I woke each morning loving my hair and ready to "conquer" the world and whoever else had something to say.

It was interesting that my "white" co-workers are LOVING and even Envious of my hair. They all keep saying "I wish my hair did that"....at first I was like do what? Then I realized they wish their hair could LOOK BEAUTIFUL, THICK, HEALTHY, KINKY and CURLY!! Yes I'm doing beautiful!

I even started this week experimenting with some natural oils and made up a few concoctions that I plan on testing out on my hair to see what happens. I am noticing that my hair is sucking up moisture like crazy, by the end of the day it is dry. So I gotta be more proactive about locking in that hair moisture. This weekend I plan on washing, and doing a deep conditioner and trying to get some moisture locked in.

So I'm trying a new spritz that consists of: Bottled Water, Rose Water/Glycerin Mix and Aloe Vera Juice (equal amounts of each in a spray bottle). I put some on my hair last night before I went to bed, and then bagged it (slept in a plastic cap, covered by my hair bonnet). Woke up this morning and can you say WOW! my hair looked sparkly (is that a word..umm) and moist. Oh yeah, I also applied one of my oil concoctions after I spritzed my hair.

So what are the concoctions I made, here they are (now I did not measure these out, I just eye balled it, but I did not use a lot of Castor Oil because its very thick):

Mix #1 - Castor Oil, Olive Oil, Almond Oil, Jojoba Oil
Mix #2 - Coconut Oil, Castor Oil, Almond Oil, Olive Oil
Mix #3 - Coconut Oil, Jojoba Oil, Peppermint Oil
Mix #4 - Olive Oil, Almond Oil, Coconut Oil
Mix #5 - Castor Oil, Rosemary Oil, Olive Oil, Jojoba Oil

I did some reading on the different carrier oils and essential oils and plan on experimenting with these to see if I have growth, moisture, or whatever else they may bring...

As far as styling my hair, it seems like right now I'm just rocking a wash n go, or I finger coil it and then unravel it. Until I get more length I'll hold off on trying to two strand twist it.  Here are some pictures of my hair this week. Enjoy! Have a Super Natural Woman Weekend!

Today! Rocking a Mo/Fro (my version)

Bought  I Flower Pin from CVS - Rocking that!

Rocking a Feather HeadBand

Had played in my hair all day finger coiling it! My Currly BeeBees

THE BOMB.COM

Well here is my report back on the following products I tried this weekend:

• Paul Mitchell's THE CONDITIONER - this is a leave-in conditioner - Can I say this stuff is the BOMB...No it's not an all natural product, and its commonly used in our Caucasian sisters salons, but this stuff made my hair incredibly soft and shiny. The moment it touched my hair, it felt like silk, I was able to detangle my hair without using any combs or brushes, just my fingers. It is blue in color and has a creamy consistency. So for now I love it, and my hair loves it..and it will be on my list of KEEPERS. 
• Paul Mitchell's Foaming Pomade - this is a foamy pomade, that you can use for a wash-n-go. So after washing my hair with my Tresseme Naturals Conditioner, and applying THE CONDITIONER (Paul Mitchell), I applied the foaming pomade. Applying it seemed really weird because it foams and turns white so you think that you are putting too much, but that's what its supposed to do. After applying it in sections, I let my hair air dry and WOW! You talking about curls poppin. They were so tight, so coily, pretty, shiny, and super uber defined! But, the next day my hair looked, dry and brittle. Now I'm not saying this isn't good, but I think it is only one day good, unless your hair is short enough to apply it everyday. So its a keeper, and I will use it maybe when I want to have a curly fro for a day. Not sure what it will do on longer length hair so when my hair grows out to maybe pass my ear I will give it a try. So this will be on my list of KEEPERS.

So after washing out my hair on Monday night I used the BOMB.COM mix. I co-washed, and then applied  Paul Mitchell THE CONDITIONER, along with the clear ECO STYLER GEL. I finger coiled my hair and then let it  dry over night. The next morning (yesterday) I separated the coils only once and can you say HOT DOG, my hair looked amazing. Not only did it have shine, but the curl definition was off the chain. The gel did not flake, and did not leave  my hair hard it was very soft and fluffy. I am on day two of this mix and it is still looking Good. Last night I put some jojoba oil on my hair and scalp and slept in my silk bonnet. I woke up this morning and misted my hair lightly with Rosewater/Glycerin and fluffed - BAM!! This mix is definitely a KEEPER. This will probably be my go to style until my hair starts to grow out some, cause the two strand twist are cute, but on my short hair take a long time. It took me only 30 min to finger coil my hair.

That's my update for now...

My First Week All Naturaal!

Wow, what a week. I spent my first week as  a fully new natural, and can I say it was SUPER AMAZING!! I rocked a twist out all week, and it was "fierce". What really made it amazing, was the fact that EVERYONE I came in contact with this week actually LOVED (some even envied) my hair. I two strand twisted it, and then took out the twists.

Here are my looks for this week:

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

Friday

There was not ONE negative comment, not that I would care anyway. But the big kicker was how much I fell in love with my new natural tresses. I found myself every morning as I was oiling my hair (with my homemade concoction), telling myself "I Love You Hair".  I really do love my hair, she is so beautiful and she looks so very happy. So, what can I say.....I feel awesome, I feel amazing, I feel sexy, I feel beautiful and I feel so FREE.

Yeah my relaxed hair, overall was pretty healthy and pretty happy...she served me well. But I would have to say that SHE is history. I am relaxer free and I'm embracing my God Given tresses. I won't go back, I can't go back - to the way it used to be. We are moving forward and I'm looking forward to the journey ahead.

So now about that concoction I made. Oh yeah, I started using Rose Water/Glycerine on my hair and my hair LOVES LOVES THIS STUFF. I got it at my local Whole Foods. The smell is divine, the smell of sweet roses. Every night before bed I spritz my hair with it. AWESOME!

Ok so here is what I used to make my own oil mix:

• Castor Oil (not a lot it is super thick)
• Almond Oil
• Jojoba Oil
• Olive Oil (not a lot, a bit greasy for me)
• Coconut Oil (not a lot, a bit greasy for me)
• Peppermint (just a few drops)

This weekend I am going to try a wash n go using: Paul Mitchell "The Conditioner", and Paul Mitchell "Foaming Pomade".  So I will keep you posted on how it works (fingers crossed).

Then I plan on trying this mix also at some point: Paul Mitchell "The Conditioner" and Eco Styler Gel (clear, that's all I have right now).

MY BIG CHOP!

MY HAIR

AFTER MY BIG CHOP

So this morning started like any other Saturday morning. Today is my wash day. So my husband and I headed out to the gym for our Saturday Raquetball, Whirlpool, and Swimmimg Pool workout. It was great! I got back home and started washing my hair, all is going well. Then it was Tim to condition and detangle and that's when all hell broke loose.

My hair was talking smack to me and was not cooperating AT ALL. It was saying you know what I'm sick of you and this natural hair journey, we want our creamy crack, we want to be smooth and silky, we want to go to the hair salon and sit in there for 5 hours! And as a black momma who can't stand when a child talks back, I pulled out my scissors and I shut her mouth!

That's right I just finished my very own Big Chop! As you can see from the pictures below, I cut about 5 inches of the relaxer off and now I'm officially on day one of my 100% Natural Hair journey

I told y'all I was getting impatient with the two textures and was over it already so I took the plunge after 6 months of transitioning. Now how do I feel? I don't know yet. I thought I would be scared and I wasn't, I thought I would be nervous and I wasn't. I feel somewhat free as if the relaxer was keeping me in bondage. Now what will I feel like after my husband finally sees it? That is the big question. He has never seen me with short hair in the 6 years we have been together.

So right now I'm deep conditioning it and I have no clue what I'm going to do to it in terms of styling it cause it so short, but I guess I'll figure that out like I did everything else during my transition.

So here I go part two of y journey. .... To be continued.

1st Day at Work with My BIG CHOP

Mini Twists - NOT!

Well Happy Monday! What an awesome, quiet, relaxing weekend. Didn't do much besides work on my hair, clean the house, do some laundry and lounge around - THAT IS THE LIFE.

Anyway, I told you last week that I was going to attempt to put "mini twists" in my hair, well I did attempt and it was a "FAIL". Why? these dern relaxed ends of mine (curses). No matter what I did, what product I tried, the relaxed ends would not hold, they kept coming unraveled. So after about 30 minutes of attempting, and dern near crying - I decided to do what I always do. I put in my small twists and rolled the ends on perm rollers (curses - I hate rolling).  I realized this weekend, that I'm so "over" my relaxed ends. I'm ready to be all natural. I promised my husband that I would wait until December, but I really want to go right now, sit in somebody chair and tell them to have at it. I'm tired of working with the two textures, its like I'm doing two styles. I want to be able to TWISTS and Be done with it.

So anyway, for  now I just keep telling myself only 2 more months, only 2 more months and it will be all over.  I am leaving the twists in for the rest of this week, because I need to get back to running, I miss it. Hopefully my twists will play nice and let me get a good workout in this week. We shall see.

I really thought transitioning would be easy, and please don't get me wrong it's been fun, but I'm ready to get those scissors in my head. I have no emotional attachment to my hair, or its length I just want to be FREE!!

Totally COOL!!

Well Happy Birthday (yesterday) to Me!! Wow! 39 years old. I can't believe how time flies when you are truly living a BLESSED LIFE.  So yesterday was my birthday and I spent the entire day with my wonderful husband, doing what I love to do best - EAT and SHOP (in that order). You know you never realize just how blessed you are until you have time to slow down and think. I heard someone say the other day, The More I Think, The More I Thank! WOW.

God has truly blessed me in so many ways and as this year has come and the day has gone, I just say Thank You. Happy Birth-DAY. I may not have everything I want - but He has truly blessed me well beyond my needs. The world can be so cruel, and there is so much hurt lingering in our nation, so whenever you have a chance to slow down and Think remember to Thank God for just how blessed you are.

If you woke up this morning, You are Blessed everything else "small".

So my hair update, ok so this weekend I'm going to "tackle" mini twists. I need to put a protective style in my hair that will last me at least 2 weeks, cause a sister need to get back to running. I'm sure it will take me about 2 days but I got all weekend to get on it. I also found a video on how to "properly" twist my hair for it to last. So we will see. I will definitely post pictures.

Guess what! I made it on Essence: http://photos.essence.com/galleries/street-style-hair-naturally-fabulous

Fabulous and Famous!

So Over It...

Well Happy Monday! Feeling pretty good today, why? Because its MY BIRTHDAY WEEK!!! God is so Good - I'm almost (2 days away) 39!!  And when I think back - all I can say is I AM GRATEFUL FOR THE THINGS THAT HE HAS DONE!!! Okay, let me stay focused cause I hear a "shout" about to come over me....Glory!!!!

So update on my hair journey. Well it's been pretty interesting. This Saturday I will be celebrating my 6 month Anniversary from the Hair Crack. WOW!! I would have NEVER IN A MILLION years thought that I would ever be without my "touchup" and doing my own hair. So those of you who know me - THAT'S ALL GOD!!

The journey has been interesting to say the least. I am doing things that I would have never ever done when I had a relaxer like - GET IN THE POOL with water that comes above my knees. Yes, my husband has me not only getting in the pool and getting my hair wet, but sitting in the HOT Whirlpool with STEAM!!! I truly have to say this is a major part of my journey, is learning to do things that seemed so fun from the outside looking in, but I was afraid to do because I aint want to mess up my PERM.

My hair is growing like crazy, its very full and very thick. I always knew that my hair was thick but I didn't realize just how much until now. It's happy!  I haven't added any new products, sticking to the things that I like right now:

Tresseme Naturals Conditioner
Carol Daughter Black Vanilla - Shampoo, Leave-In, Hair Smoothie
Oyin Shine and Define
Jojoba Oil
Olive Oil
Jane Carters - Wrap & Roll, and Nourish and Shine
Talid Waajid Lock Gel
Eco Styler Gel - Clear

These are my staples and at this point seem to work well with my hair. I am deep-conditioning every week now, because my relaxed ends are "struggling".

I also decided to move my Big Chop date to December 19 instead of waiting until April - WHY? Because I'm so over the relaxed part of my hair and having to do literally two styles at one time. Yes, I two strand twist then roll the permed ends on rollers. I just want to be able to twist and be done, wash and go and be done. These "straight" dry ends are working my nerve - it's time to let it go. So I talked to my husband and told him and he says its cool. So I'm going to do it over Christmas Break so I'll have two weeks by myself, just me and my hair to become one. Before we BAM show the world.

So anyway, I'm still at it, I'm doing good better than I thought. So I'll just keep it moving and see what happens after the BC.

Black Girls Rock!

Well it's Monday morning and can you say "TIRED"...not sure why I woke up so exhausted, but if I had to guess I would say dreaming all night about HAIR. Yesterday I attended my first Natural Hair Conference - Koils By Nature - Natural Hair is not a Fad conference here in Alexandria VA.  I wasn't sure what to expect, besides hearing alot about being natural. But what I got was so much more.

Wow! First let me say that I learned more about myself than I did about my hair. The conference was packed with vendors, selling all kinds of natural hair products, t-shirts, earrings, and clothing. There were also some amazing speakers. One of my favorites was Beautiful Brown Baby Doll. What an amazing young woman (yes younger than me). Her presentation was so inspiring and motivating. She spoke a lot about her journey in life, but also about the journey of being a Strong Black Woman. What really struck me the most was her explanation of her acronym Supernatural. I can't remember all of what the letters meant and I'm trying to Google it so I can post it on my blog. But what I do remember the most was the thread that ran through her presentation of truly loving who you are, inspite of what people try to project onto you. She said something that was so profound to me: People will perceive you the way you perceive yourself. 

Sunday THE BOMB Twistout

This morning that really hit me hard. Let me tell you why. Yesterday I had the BEST TWIST OUT that I have ever attempted on my hair, I mean it was the BOMB!!! Received many compliments and was truly feeling fly. Then this morning....WTH...my hair looked nothing like yesterday and I was thinking to myself what in the world am I going to do, my hair looks a mess. Then out of no where I was sucker punched with: People will perceive you the way you perceive yourself. If I think my hair is a hot mess, then those around me will. So I collected my thoughts, threw the bad ones out the window, twisted the front, put an afro puff in the back, slapped on a headband and told myself BOO YOU LOOK FABULOUS!!. 

This natural hair journey I'm realizing is not just about my hair but my attitude. I'm learning to love myself with a bomb twist out and a bad one. I'm learning to be confident with in myself and realize that just like the hair that grows from the inside out, so does my confidence. Its an inside job, I have to dig deep and find that place within where I love who I am no matter what.

Day After the BOMB Twist Out - Rocking a Puff in the back.

 So here are some pictures of my day yesterday (My TWIST OUT WAS ROCKING).

Me and Natural Chica

Me and Mama Naturalista

Still At It...

Its been a while since I've documented my thoughts on my hair. Well all I can say is that I'm still at it. It really hasn't been as bad as some of the online posts I've read. My transition seems to be going ok so far. I have sampled some products, some good and some bad. I think I'm almost finding my "staple" products that I will use through my transition.

So here is a list of MUST HAVES for my Hair:

• Carol Daughter Black Vanilla Shampoo (love, love)
• Oyin Shine & Define (this stuff is the BOMB - NO FRIZZ to my hair at all and really defines my two strand twists, and leaves my hair cotton ball soft), 
• Jane Carter Wrap and Roll (AMAZING, left my hair very soft)
• Trader Joes Tea Tree Tingle Conditioner (Amazing for De-tangling your Hair, gonna add some Honey, Coconut Oil and Olive Oil to it this weekend to use it as a Deep Conditioner - we will see)
• Jane Carters Nourish and Shine 
• Jojoba Oil (use as a sealant after I moisturize)
• Carol Daughter Hair Milk (use as a moisturizer after cleaning my hair)
• Eco Styler Gel - Clear (just tried this this weekend with the Wrap/Roll on two strand twist set on perm rollers, and it worked pretty good, no flaking)
• Carol Daughter Co-Wash (this is pretty good, but I finished the bottle I had and wont be purchasing again only because of the cost. I have a lot of hair and this bottle did not last long)

Tresseme Naturals Moisturizing Conditioner  - I'm gonna try this a co-wash starting this weekend and see how my hair responds to it. Heard lots of good reviews on it as a co-wash and the price is cheap $5.00

I have tried Virgin Coconut Oil on my hair that I purchased from Trader Joes and my hair does not like this stuff at all - unless I mix it with olive oil as a pre-poo. By itself, it left my hair very brittle, not sure if I used to much but probably wont use this a sealant, but I am gonna add some to my DC mix and see how it does.

So as you can see it's a busy journey, with testing products seeing what works and what doesn't. But I'm learning so much about my hair and I know as I go through this 1 year Transition (after which I am going to Big Chop - April 2013) I will learn so much more. There are days when I get frustrated and feel like I cant do this, but then I realize that nothing is ever worth having if you aren't willing to work hard for it. I want Healthy Hair, I want my Natural Healthy Hair back. So I press, pray, and and don't give up.

Did I Ask Your Opinion?

Well it's been a few days since I last posted. Nothing really new is going on, same journey, different challenges. I just had my first "product throw away". I told you that I was trying the Hollywood Beauty Olive Oil Cholesterol for a Deep Conditioner, well after 2 uses I decided that its not a good fit for my hair.

I tried it again this weekend, and it did not give me the moisture that I was looking for, and it left my hair feeling dry and brittle. So I'm going to now try my own concoction. I really do LOVE the Trader Joes Tea Tree Tingle Conditioner, it really does leave my hair feeling nice and it melts away the tangles like a champ. Anyway, I've decided that I'm going to put together the following concoction, based on another blogger's recipe:

1/2 cup Trader Joe Tea Tree Conditioner
3 tablespoons of Honey
2 teaspoons of Coconut Oil

So the next time I do a Deep Conditioner which will probably be in 2 weeks, I will let you know the results. So I'm learning as I go what works and what doesn't, very interesting. The stuff that used to work on my relaxed hair, not so much now that my hair is transitioning.

Anyway, back to the Title of the blog. So today I came to work with my two strand twist (rolled at the end) still in my hair from my hair session this weekend. First time anyone has seen my hair in the twist. But what I did was just pulled them back with a bobby pin, so I thought it looked pretty decent (see pic above). Well my co-worker came up to me this morning before even saying Good Morning and says and I quote "I don't like your Hair"...ummm. I'm so glad I have JESUS in my life (no really), cause what was about to roll of my tongue would not have been nice for my Good Christian, Preacher Lady self. So I "kindly" said oh really, that's too bad and then I walked away.  Did I ask you for your opinion of my hair?

I told my Hair - "Forgive her for she knows not what she does" (LOL). But surprisingly, I did not catch any feelings about her comment, because at this point I'm so so so in Love with my hair I really don't care what anyone says.

Me and My Hair are secure in who we are these days, we have embraced our "newness" and we are walking with our Head held high! People don't have to "like" my hair, but I need to be sure that I always "love" her. In the words of the late great Whitney Houston "And I will always Love you".....

Getting the Hang Of It

Happy Monday! Wow back to work after a week and half long vacation. That is not a wow of excitement, I woke up so wishing I was back on the beaches of Florida, but as my son so eloquently put it this morning - A Baby's gotta do what a Baby's gotta do (Rugrats voice).

So back to my hair journey. Well last Thursday I went out and purchased me a hooded stand up (on wheels) hair dryer from Sally's - I got the Gold N Hot Hair Dryer Elite Ionic Rollabout Hat 1875W. I had to get one because the last time I did my hair at home and attempted to let it "hair dry" it was s 3 day process for my hair to dry completely. Anyway, I went out that morning got my dryer came back home, assembled in in less than 10 minutes and prepared for my "hair regimen". I attempted a Two-Strand Twist w/Perm Rollers on the end (the relaxed part of my hair).

First, I co-washed my hair with a mix of Carol's Daughter Co-Wash, and Trader Joe's Tea Tree Tingle Conditioner. I then sectioned my hair in 4 parts, sprayed on my Carol's Daughter Tui Leave In Conditioner and started my detangle process. Once all the sections were detangled, I applied my Carol's Daughter Original Hair Milk to each section.

Once I had done that, I mixed up my product for my two strand twists which was: 2 parts of the Carol Daughters Curling Pudding, and 2 parts of Taliah Waajid Lock It Up. I then two strand twisted only the natural hair and then I sprayed a mixture of setting lotion/water on the permed end and rolled it on perm rods (grey ones). I did put paper on the ends for a better set.  This process took abut 1hour and 30 min to do my entire head.

I then sat under my dryer (setting on High), for another 2 hours! Yes 2 hours! It takes my dern hair so long to dry (super thick). It took this long at the salon. But anyway, I'm used to it so I wasn't tripping. After it was completely dry, I removed the perm rods. I did not undo the twists. I rocked this look for about 4 days, after which I undid the twists (only once - I did apply some jojoba oil and Jane Carters Shine to my hands) and VOILA!! I had the most beautiful soft, wavy, curly hair do.

It came out great. I was amazed. Everyone LOVED IT - Including my Husband...I was so proud of myself. It was about a 4 hour process from start to finish but I have to say, it was well worth it.

Last night, I put my hair in a scrunchy on top of my head, slapped on my satin bonnet went to bed. Woke up this morning, shook it out, applied some Jojoba Oil and my hair is rocking. Got to work and EVERYONE loved it. It is holding up pretty good. So I should be able to get about a week or so out of this look and I will probably be redoing it next week or maybe on Sunday. We will have to see.

So all I can say is practices makes doable, just stay at it, find what products and what styles work for you and go for it. I probably wont be heading to the salon anytime soon, saving that money is going to be nice.

It's a Family Hair Affair

Wow! What a weekend. My husband and I traveled to Florida for his family reunion and all I can say is the trip was amazing. You know there is a saying that you can't choose your family - hearing it sounds so negative, but I feel that after this weekend I realize that all though we can't choose our family, I'm so blessed that God did.

Being around my husbands family, and watching cousins meet each other for the first time, aunts hugging nieces, uncles embracing nephews, the seniors cutting a rug on the dance floor, smiles all around, and laughter filling the room; it gave me such a feeling of gratitude that family truly is a gift from God.

God in His most infinite wisdom, decided who would be attached to who because He knew that even though outwardly the pieces seemed jagged, they fit together like a glove. I am so glad that I have my family, and although sometimes I don't appreciate them as much as I should, I wouldn't trade them for the world.

In a world filled with so much hate, so much hurt, so much destruction; to be able to steal away for four days with a family that genuinely loves each, other allowed me to see God in such a greater light. It showed me just how much He loves us, and wants nothing but the best for us. And even if I can't see it right away, one day as I'm strolling along the beaches of Florida, and the sun is coming up, the waves are crashing against the surface of the beach, I will look up, my eyes will be filled with tears as I behold His beauty and I'll say THANK YOU!

So it is with my hair. Each day of this journey I look at my hair and I have a lot of "jagged" edges, pieces that don't seem like they fit, I get frustrated, and begin feeling ungrateful. But then look over and I see a Cancer patient, who has lost all of her hair, with tears in my eyes, and a moment of gratitude as I behold the beauty of the person I say THANK YOU!

I may not have all that hope to have, I may not be all that I hope to be, my family may not be perfect and today my hair may not even be cooperating, but when I really put things in its proper perspective: I have my life, my health, my husband, my kids, my family, my friends, my God,, my hair and I realize I AM BLESSED!

Oh yeah, this weekend there was a little girl about 6 who had her hair in the biggest, fullest, prettiest two AFRO PUFFS. She was rocking her style, and I for a moment remembered when my hair was like that, and I had hair envy and all I could say was One Day I want to Grow Up and Be Just Like Her (smile).

Results of my Regimen

Good day my beautiful. So last night was my first stab at a "Hair Regimen". Like I said I was going to do, I starting out with the emphasis "PRE-POO", which was just saturating my hair with virgin Coconut Oil, while it was dry of course. I must say although this was a greasy, messy process, my hair actually did feel a lot softer and was very shiny. Even while applying it, it was so shiny. Not sure if this is something I could everyday, but I definitely want to figure out a way to incorporate the Coconut Oil into my hair as a moisturizer.

The washing in the shower was cool, only problem I was looked like a "California raisin" when I got out (Ha Ha). My husband thought I drowned or something. Washing/De-tangling was a long process, I had so much more respect for those that work as hair stylists and I'm so grateful they love what they do.

I then applied my Deep Conditioner and used my Heat Thermal Wrap. Ok, the cordless heat wrap is AWESOME. I through the thing in the microwave for like 60 seconds, wrapped it around my head (by the way it makes you look like a football player, it resembles and feels like you are wearing a football helmet) and it heated up. I did have to put some paper towels over my ears, cause it started burning. But man it stayed good and hot for almost an hour. It really worked and it was a lot better than sitting under a dryer.  I still have to invest in a Dryer when I start doing my two-strand twists. Because I tried to let my hair air dry and it took 3 days!! So that won't work - so I will watch Sally's and grab me one on sale.

But I would highly recommend the heat wrap for Deep Conditioners or your Pre-Poo treatment.  I awoke this morning, headed to salon to get my conditioner rinsed out and cut off another 3 inches of my relaxed hair (nervous) and get my straw set, my hair turned out great. My hair was soft, felt really clean and there was very little shedding or breakage. I have to say this is a learning process and a patient challenge, but I'm having a ball.

I talked to my stylist alot about maintaining my hair at home between straw sets (my staple transition style) and she really made me feel confident that I could do this. I can do this!

So my sisters I will talk to you when I get back - Easy Does It, and don't forget you are AMAZING!

Do You Love Me?

So its the dawn of a new day, and so many thoughts are swirling in my head. Some about my hair, but more about my life. As I was driving to work this morning (awoke to a not so good day), I asked myself: Rochelle Do You Really Love Yourself? I mean really have you ever asked yourself if you loved yourself. I know we ponder over whether this person loves us or if that person loves us, but what about me. How come I don't put myself through the ultimate love test. What is that test you ask?

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 says: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
   
Most times we hear this quoted at weddings, and rightly so. You want to know if the two persons are willing to give all of this things to the other person unselfishly. But am I willing to give all those things to myself? As each day passes of this new found "journey" I'm on, this journey that started out as a hair thing, but really is turning into a self-examination movement, I wonder what will I discover about myself, what will I see that I fall in love with, what will be revealed that I hate.

As the months pass, my "curl pattern" in my kinky hair will be revealed, but more importantly the "substance" of who I am will also show up. Will I lovingly embrace the real me as much as I embrace my new natural curl pattern? I guess we will have to wait and see...To Be Continued

Hair Regimen 101 - Pray for Me

Well another dollar another day. So this week as I head to my vacation, I finally decided that it's probably best for me to go ahead and get my hair done in a straw set. I know that I said I might try to tackle my hair myself, but I really want a style that will last me throughout my vacation that I don't have to worry about.

I did decide however to begin my very own wash regimen. I have read numerous articles from my natural sisters blogs and websites and watched countless videos on the "best" way to wash your newly transitioning hair and all the "right" products" that you should use. Can I say I'm overwhelmed! Clearly everyone thinks their way is the best way, and maybe it is. But I have decided to find something that works for me, try it and see what happens. What's the worst that can happen? (not sure I want to know).

Anyway, between last night and this morning I envisioned (even dreamed) about washing my hair, and I think I've come up with something that I'm going to try. I will have to let you know on Thursday how it all turned out. But the plan is to pre-poo (whatever the heck that means, but it sounds fancy and professional), wash, condition/detangle, and deep condition overnight. I will hit the salon on Thursday morning to get the conditioner washed out, get a hair chop (3 inches), and then get my straw set. Sounds like a job (whew), but I'm excited to see how I hold up under this maintenance (pray for me).

I took the liberty of writing down "my" regimen (only cause I think I will forget - lol), so here it is:

Natural Hair Wash

Pre-poo:

1. Apply coconut oil to the hair in sections

2. Place a plastic cap over the hair and allow the oil to penetrate into the hair shaft for at least 30 minutes

3. Shampoo and condition as usual!

Shampoo Regimen

1. Loosely twist/braid hair in several sections, Wash hair 2x in the shower (I use Carols Daughter Black Vanilla Shampoo - LOVE THIS STUFF)

2. After hair is washed, and rinsed, Apply Conditioner (Tea Tree Tingle - LOVE THIS STUFF - super slippery) and detangle hair one section at a time. Re-twisting each section after detangle is done

3. Rinse hair while hair is still in twisted sections

4. Soak some of the water out of hair, Let hair dry until slightly damp

5. Apply Deep Conditioner ( I will use Hollywood Beauty Olive Cholesterol, mixed with 1 tablespoon of Coconut oil-not sure what this concoction will do to my hair but I will see)

6. Cover head with plastic wrap and apply heat wrap (I purchased the Hair Therapy Wrap Cordless Thermal Turban Heat Wrap from Amazon - first time using it so we will see) for 15-20 min

7. Remove heat wrap, leave on plastic cap, put on satin bonnet, go to bed and rinse out tomorrow

8. Next day add your moisturizer (I love Carol Daughters Hair Milk) or leave in conditioner and style

Bad Hair Day

Yesterday I took down my two french braids, so I could give my hair a good "scratch", I applied some of my "home made" grease (shea butter, coconut oil, and jojoba oil) and proceeded to put my hair is 4 big plats.

My son came in the kitchen, took one look at my hair and said mom you look like a "project" kid. I was almost insulted, but then I laughed realizing this is going to take my son some getting used to, so I let him slide without punching him in the mouth (LOL).

Anyway, I woke up this morning took out my plats, and OMG my hair was HUGE, not a lot of curls, just BIG. I'm standing in the mirror looking at it saying what in the world can I do with it, I gotta get to work. Well I didn't want to wet it, didn't have time to twist it, so I put two big twists on each side and out the door I went. It was not a good hair day - so I thought. Until one of my co-workers (Caucasian) walked up to me and said WOW YOUR HAIR IS BEAUTIFUL like that. I looked at her like really? She then asked the famous question - Can I touch it? We then began to have a conversation about my hair, my beautiful hair, the hair that I woke up to and did not see as so beautiful.

So I guess its true what they say: Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder.

Afro-Centric?

Where do I start with today's post? This weekend I attended a memorial service for my aunt, and prior to the start of service a woman came up to me and said and I quote, "Wow, Your hair is so Afro-centric". Now my hair was still in two french braids from earlier in the week, looking a little dry and a lot more kinky, but nevertheless I was rocking it. So as I stood there looking at her with this look of "disbelief", my tongue was tied because I wasn't sure how to respond to this comment. What did she mean my hair looked Afro-Centric, was it because it was straight, shiny, and flowing down my back? What did she mean? Was it because it looked dry, it looked dull, it was boring, it was braided.

I wasn't sure what she meant, but I found her comment to be interesting, yet ignorant in a subtle way. I'm starting to realize that this journey I am on is one that will not be embraced by many (especially by black sisters), and it is one that most will not fully understand. But what her comment did do for me, besides leave me standing there looking like a deer in headlights, was cause me to really look at "my hair" for what it is. It's a conversation piece, its kinky, its coily, its boring (sometimes), but mainly its who I am - an African American Woman! and on that day I was proud to be one, I was proud to be taking a stand for myself, doing something that most probably would not do, stupid comments and all.

So today as I sit at my desk with my AFRO-CENTRIC french braids, waiting for Thursday to come so I can get my hair washed and straw set, I embrace the AFRICAN side of who I am, with no shame and no apologies. Do You, Only You know How!!

I Stand Convicted

So this morning as I was reading one of my new found websites on natural hair (curlynikki), the topic for discussion was the controversy surrounding The United States new Olympic Champion  Gabrielle Douglas (Gabby). The controversy of all things is her HAIR. Yes, her hair. Gabby is a very beautiful African American girl who has won over the hearts of so many people, of all ethnic backgrounds. She is charming, sweet, humble, mild mannered, soft spoken, and she has won two Olympic gold medals. So whats wrong with her? Her hair. Its obviously relaxed, but the problem is she is rocking an unrelaxed front and a straight weave pony tail in the back. So whats the problem, according to her African American fans (mainly women), she is not representing "us" well, because her hair is unkempt. It aint "done" as some would say.

So where does my conviction come in. As I watched her compete on that first night, I sat there with my husband watching in amazement at how she was able to run, flip, and attacked that vault with such strength and grace. And then I caught a glimpse of her hair, and I said and I quote "Why in the world did her momma let her come on tv looking like that"?. Her gelled up front, and weaved out back. I lost focus of her achievements and began criticizing even laughing at her hair. Yet there I sat, with my "kinky" kitchen (back of my hairline), playing in my tight curled, newly natural locks looking "just" like her. Why was I so confident about my new naps, yet so critical of hers? It didn't dawn on me until this morning as I was reading that article and this flood of shame ran through my body that I was being judgmental and I asked God to forgive me. Here I was being judgmental of this beautiful black child, all the while not wanting people to judge me for letting go of the creamy crack (yet they are). How dare I?

Matthew 7:1 says "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. I know the Bible, I'm a student of the Bible and a Teacher of the Bible. I profess to believe in and live by what it teaches, yet here I was failing in my flesh, doing the very thing it says not to do. I stand Convicted! 

So to my beautiful black young sister "GABBY" - I apologize. I think you are an amazing young woman, you are talented, and you are gifted. You are a model to so many young women, and today you have even been a model for me. Thank you for showing me (without saying a word) the error of my ways, and I only hope that one day I grow up to be just like you.

Over Zealous??

Well, lets see where do I start. Yesterday I had a bright idea that I would roll my twists on perm rollers so that today when I took them out, my hair would be "really" curly all the way to end. So I got home and began rolling up those twists, and had the most DREADFUL sleep ever. Those dern things hurt. It took my half way through the night to find a position to sleep in that didn't feel like my head was going to fall off. I woke up this morning in anticipation of seeing the outcome of my "bright idea". I took out the rollers, and man was my my hair curled up tight to my head. I'm thinking to myself, how is this really going to turn out? I begin separating my twists, and WOW - nothing what I expected. It turned out "bad"...I had a huge afro puff sitting on top of my head with no order to it all.

But this is the surprising part - I didn't freak out. I really didn't freak out. Normally I would have panicked, cried, and called in sick to go to the salon and get that beast tamed. But this morning, NO I just looked at it, loved it, and said oh well we will try again. I did call my girlfriend at work and asked her if she would put two french braids in it when she came in. She said YEP! So Thank God for the french braid in the bush.

I'm learning that this process is trial and error. You can't get discouraged, you can't give up, eventually if you keep going forward you will end up where you were supposed to be anyway. And that is just not with your hair, but with anything in life. So on Saturday night, I'm going to tackle my tresses again and attempt another two strand twists. I'm thinking to myself the twists probably have to stay in my hair longer than 2 days??? Umm, I don't know but I will keep it moving, no matter what.

My hair didn't cooperate, but that didn't stop me from loving it and loving me today!

"Your hair is whatever you want it to be. Think it’s sexy, sassy, or elegant? It will be. Think it’s ugly? It will oblige" Unknown

Baby Hair, Where did that come from?

Baby Hair? Where did that come from? So I'm standing in the mirror last night as I let down my two strand twist and lo and behold I see something that I haven't seen in years - very fine baby hair gracing my forehead. I touched them with caution, not sure of what to expect. And then I realized it, my hair was thanking me for ''freeing" her. It's amazing the little things we take for granted, I never knew that I would get such a feeling from seeing those precious baby hairs.

So, back to my twists. I took down my twist (I had a pin up) so that I could retwist some of my hair with this "shea butter" (Brand: Beautiful Curls) I purchased from Whole Foods, and can I say WOW!! My curl definition and pattern is OFF THE CHARTS!! My hair was so soft, so springy, so kinky, and yet so amazing. Does this sound weird? That I'm falling in love with my hair. Well I am, I stood there looking at it as if it was the first time I had ever seen it, wondering why it took me so long to find my way back to her, yet so grateful that I have.  I know that we have a long journey to go, but I'm so excited.

Catch this - I was talking to my co-worker this morning and she said what are you planning to do with you hair for your vacation? My original plan was to go to the salon and get my staple straw set, but I quickly, without hesitation said: I think I may do it myself. What? Did I hear myself right? Do it yourself? Ummm, its a thought that I'm highly considering so we will see.

I'm going to Sally's today to get some perm rods so that I can roll my twists, in preparation for my twist out, cause I still got some relaxed ends that won't curl quite yet. So we will see how that turns out - I will keep you posted.

“Take the kinks out of your mind instead of your hair.” Marcus Garvey.

Facing My Fear

Well today I awoke a FREE woman! Free from what you ask? Free from the fear of my hair. Yes for years I have feared my hair. I feared its kinkiness, I feared it's tightness, I feared my curly locks. Because I didn't know what to do with it, I refused to touch it, wash it, comb it, style it - Without the help of a professional.

But last night something happened. I walked into my house, put down my bags, stood in front of that sink, turned on that water, PRAYED-CRIED, and took the plunge. As the water began to stream down my hair, I realized there was no turning back. I didn't know what I would see at the end of this process, but I refused to give up. I was reminded of the scripture in Philippians 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me, yes ALL THINGS - even wash and style my own darn hair. So I asked God for help, for the strength to not be afraid of the thing that He gave me.

So after 1 hour and half of co-washing, moisturizing, and twisting it was over- I had stood in the face of fear with faith as my sword and slayed that HAIR DEMON! As I looked in the mirror at myself, I felt a flood of emotion. I cried, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted from me, I cried, because I saw how beautiful I was, Kinks and All! I cried because I realized that there is NOTHING that I can't do, God has equipped me with everything I need to overcome any obstacle I face - even my Hair.

When I came to work this morning, everyone that saw me stared in amazement - compliments of WOW your hair looks amazing - can I touch it! Some even had a little "hair envy" (smile). So today I embrace the ME that God purposed for me to be and I say to her I LOVE YOU!

It's Our Anniversary

So today marks my 4 month anniversary from the "Creamy Crack" as I like to call it. Wow! I can't believe I have not jumped ship and gone back to getting my hair relaxed. I know its only been 4 months but I have learned so much about my hair, but more importantly about myself. I told my husband this morning that this journey has been challenging but bitter sweet. It feels good to not really "trip" out over my hair. Not worrying about sweating out my good perm, or hot and humid days attacking my just flat ironed tresses. I don't mind sweating out my hair to get in a good workout - something I never though I would do! Actually this past weekend my husband and I played racquetball together - I locked myself up in a hot box, smacking a red ball around, sweating profusely for one hour and not once did I think about my hair. I got a chance to spend some quality time with my husband, and take care of my temple.

Tonight I'm going to attempt to do something that I haven't done since I was a teenager - WASH MY OWN HAIR. I have always been so afraid of my hair, and the way it curls up and locks up on me when I wash it. But today, I feel confident that I can face that fear and actually give it a shot. When I told my husband he told me "you can do it". He even told me that he likes my new natural. So a sister is feeling really inspired, off to Carol's Daughter I went to get my products.

I got their new co-wash conditioner, hair milk (original), and hair pudding (gonna try to two strand twist it). Not sure what the outcome will be when I awake in the morning, but whatever it is, I promise to embrace it, embrace me, embrace my locks and ROCK IT THE BEST WAY I CAN!

Can I touch it?

A little about this blog. Back in December a co-worker and I decided to start a Walking Program, you know to get in shape and to lose a little "baby phat". Well it was going so well that after 4 months of walking and being able to walk 3 miles in less than an hour, we decide to step our game up. So we started RUNNING. Now please understand running is nothing I ever thought I would do. When I first met my husband he asked me to run with him and I gave him a laundry list of excuses on why I couldn't. The main one being my "HAIR". I could not fathom, sweating out my "good perm". So NO NO NO it was not an option. Well when my co-worker and I started running I said well maybe I can run and not sweat too much and still save my hair.

Well that obviously didn't work. I found myself needing to go to the hair salon every week, which was taking a toll on my pockets, but I was falling in love with the rush I got from Running. So I had to make a decision between my addiction to the "creamy crack" or "running". Once I started to see the transformation my body was making because I was putting in 3 miles of running, Running won hands down!. So March of this year was my last date with the "creamy crack". Its been almost 4 months and no relaxer. I decided not to "Big Chop" as they call it on the natural hair websites, not because I was afraid but because my husband wasn't having it. So I'm doing the Long Transition.

At first I had no clue what to do with my hair, and then my stylist suggested that I try "straw set" as my transition style. VOILA! it worked, I love it, I can run with it and still maintain my style. The journey has been interesting. Especially when sharing with my "black sisters" that I'm going natural. The responses have been eye opening. But I'm finally embracing my "nappy roots" and falling in love with the "new me".

Today when I got to work, this lady in my office who is "natural" walked up to me and said: Oh My God I LOVE YOUR HAIR - Can I touch it?  I said sure (really, can't believe I said that). She touched my thick, curly, nappy roots and said: It is so Beautiful. That statement meant more to me than she will ever know! It reaffirmed for me that this journey, though not widely accepted is about me. It's about me Loving Me for who I am, not being afraid to be the Me that God created and embracing the Black and Beautiful that God gave me.