Did I Ask Your Opinion?

Well it's been a few days since I last posted. Nothing really new is going on, same journey, different challenges. I just had my first "product throw away". I told you that I was trying the Hollywood Beauty Olive Oil Cholesterol for a Deep Conditioner, well after 2 uses I decided that its not a good fit for my hair.

I tried it again this weekend, and it did not give me the moisture that I was looking for, and it left my hair feeling dry and brittle. So I'm going to now try my own concoction. I really do LOVE the Trader Joes Tea Tree Tingle Conditioner, it really does leave my hair feeling nice and it melts away the tangles like a champ. Anyway, I've decided that I'm going to put together the following concoction, based on another blogger's recipe:

1/2 cup Trader Joe Tea Tree Conditioner
3 tablespoons of Honey
2 teaspoons of Coconut Oil

So the next time I do a Deep Conditioner which will probably be in 2 weeks, I will let you know the results. So I'm learning as I go what works and what doesn't, very interesting. The stuff that used to work on my relaxed hair, not so much now that my hair is transitioning.

Anyway, back to the Title of the blog. So today I came to work with my two strand twist (rolled at the end) still in my hair from my hair session this weekend. First time anyone has seen my hair in the twist. But what I did was just pulled them back with a bobby pin, so I thought it looked pretty decent (see pic above). Well my co-worker came up to me this morning before even saying Good Morning and says and I quote "I don't like your Hair"...ummm. I'm so glad I have JESUS in my life (no really), cause what was about to roll of my tongue would not have been nice for my Good Christian, Preacher Lady self. So I "kindly" said oh really, that's too bad and then I walked away.  Did I ask you for your opinion of my hair?

I told my Hair - "Forgive her for she knows not what she does" (LOL). But surprisingly, I did not catch any feelings about her comment, because at this point I'm so so so in Love with my hair I really don't care what anyone says.

Me and My Hair are secure in who we are these days, we have embraced our "newness" and we are walking with our Head held high! People don't have to "like" my hair, but I need to be sure that I always "love" her. In the words of the late great Whitney Houston "And I will always Love you".....

Getting the Hang Of It

Happy Monday! Wow back to work after a week and half long vacation. That is not a wow of excitement, I woke up so wishing I was back on the beaches of Florida, but as my son so eloquently put it this morning - A Baby's gotta do what a Baby's gotta do (Rugrats voice).

So back to my hair journey. Well last Thursday I went out and purchased me a hooded stand up (on wheels) hair dryer from Sally's - I got the Gold N Hot Hair Dryer Elite Ionic Rollabout Hat 1875W. I had to get one because the last time I did my hair at home and attempted to let it "hair dry" it was s 3 day process for my hair to dry completely. Anyway, I went out that morning got my dryer came back home, assembled in in less than 10 minutes and prepared for my "hair regimen". I attempted a Two-Strand Twist w/Perm Rollers on the end (the relaxed part of my hair).

First, I co-washed my hair with a mix of Carol's Daughter Co-Wash, and Trader Joe's Tea Tree Tingle Conditioner. I then sectioned my hair in 4 parts, sprayed on my Carol's Daughter Tui Leave In Conditioner and started my detangle process. Once all the sections were detangled, I applied my Carol's Daughter Original Hair Milk to each section.

Once I had done that, I mixed up my product for my two strand twists which was: 2 parts of the Carol Daughters Curling Pudding, and 2 parts of Taliah Waajid Lock It Up. I then two strand twisted only the natural hair and then I sprayed a mixture of setting lotion/water on the permed end and rolled it on perm rods (grey ones). I did put paper on the ends for a better set.  This process took abut 1hour and 30 min to do my entire head.

I then sat under my dryer (setting on High), for another 2 hours! Yes 2 hours! It takes my dern hair so long to dry (super thick). It took this long at the salon. But anyway, I'm used to it so I wasn't tripping. After it was completely dry, I removed the perm rods. I did not undo the twists. I rocked this look for about 4 days, after which I undid the twists (only once - I did apply some jojoba oil and Jane Carters Shine to my hands) and VOILA!! I had the most beautiful soft, wavy, curly hair do.

It came out great. I was amazed. Everyone LOVED IT - Including my Husband...I was so proud of myself. It was about a 4 hour process from start to finish but I have to say, it was well worth it.

Last night, I put my hair in a scrunchy on top of my head, slapped on my satin bonnet went to bed. Woke up this morning, shook it out, applied some Jojoba Oil and my hair is rocking. Got to work and EVERYONE loved it. It is holding up pretty good. So I should be able to get about a week or so out of this look and I will probably be redoing it next week or maybe on Sunday. We will have to see.

So all I can say is practices makes doable, just stay at it, find what products and what styles work for you and go for it. I probably wont be heading to the salon anytime soon, saving that money is going to be nice.

It's a Family Hair Affair

Wow! What a weekend. My husband and I traveled to Florida for his family reunion and all I can say is the trip was amazing. You know there is a saying that you can't choose your family - hearing it sounds so negative, but I feel that after this weekend I realize that all though we can't choose our family, I'm so blessed that God did.

Being around my husbands family, and watching cousins meet each other for the first time, aunts hugging nieces, uncles embracing nephews, the seniors cutting a rug on the dance floor, smiles all around, and laughter filling the room; it gave me such a feeling of gratitude that family truly is a gift from God.

God in His most infinite wisdom, decided who would be attached to who because He knew that even though outwardly the pieces seemed jagged, they fit together like a glove. I am so glad that I have my family, and although sometimes I don't appreciate them as much as I should, I wouldn't trade them for the world.

In a world filled with so much hate, so much hurt, so much destruction; to be able to steal away for four days with a family that genuinely loves each, other allowed me to see God in such a greater light. It showed me just how much He loves us, and wants nothing but the best for us. And even if I can't see it right away, one day as I'm strolling along the beaches of Florida, and the sun is coming up, the waves are crashing against the surface of the beach, I will look up, my eyes will be filled with tears as I behold His beauty and I'll say THANK YOU!

So it is with my hair. Each day of this journey I look at my hair and I have a lot of "jagged" edges, pieces that don't seem like they fit, I get frustrated, and begin feeling ungrateful. But then look over and I see a Cancer patient, who has lost all of her hair, with tears in my eyes, and a moment of gratitude as I behold the beauty of the person I say THANK YOU!

I may not have all that hope to have, I may not be all that I hope to be, my family may not be perfect and today my hair may not even be cooperating, but when I really put things in its proper perspective: I have my life, my health, my husband, my kids, my family, my friends, my God,, my hair and I realize I AM BLESSED!

Oh yeah, this weekend there was a little girl about 6 who had her hair in the biggest, fullest, prettiest two AFRO PUFFS. She was rocking her style, and I for a moment remembered when my hair was like that, and I had hair envy and all I could say was One Day I want to Grow Up and Be Just Like Her (smile).

Results of my Regimen

Good day my beautiful. So last night was my first stab at a "Hair Regimen". Like I said I was going to do, I starting out with the emphasis "PRE-POO", which was just saturating my hair with virgin Coconut Oil, while it was dry of course. I must say although this was a greasy, messy process, my hair actually did feel a lot softer and was very shiny. Even while applying it, it was so shiny. Not sure if this is something I could everyday, but I definitely want to figure out a way to incorporate the Coconut Oil into my hair as a moisturizer.

The washing in the shower was cool, only problem I was looked like a "California raisin" when I got out (Ha Ha). My husband thought I drowned or something. Washing/De-tangling was a long process, I had so much more respect for those that work as hair stylists and I'm so grateful they love what they do.

I then applied my Deep Conditioner and used my Heat Thermal Wrap. Ok, the cordless heat wrap is AWESOME. I through the thing in the microwave for like 60 seconds, wrapped it around my head (by the way it makes you look like a football player, it resembles and feels like you are wearing a football helmet) and it heated up. I did have to put some paper towels over my ears, cause it started burning. But man it stayed good and hot for almost an hour. It really worked and it was a lot better than sitting under a dryer.  I still have to invest in a Dryer when I start doing my two-strand twists. Because I tried to let my hair air dry and it took 3 days!! So that won't work - so I will watch Sally's and grab me one on sale.

But I would highly recommend the heat wrap for Deep Conditioners or your Pre-Poo treatment.  I awoke this morning, headed to salon to get my conditioner rinsed out and cut off another 3 inches of my relaxed hair (nervous) and get my straw set, my hair turned out great. My hair was soft, felt really clean and there was very little shedding or breakage. I have to say this is a learning process and a patient challenge, but I'm having a ball.

I talked to my stylist alot about maintaining my hair at home between straw sets (my staple transition style) and she really made me feel confident that I could do this. I can do this!

So my sisters I will talk to you when I get back - Easy Does It, and don't forget you are AMAZING!

Do You Love Me?

So its the dawn of a new day, and so many thoughts are swirling in my head. Some about my hair, but more about my life. As I was driving to work this morning (awoke to a not so good day), I asked myself: Rochelle Do You Really Love Yourself? I mean really have you ever asked yourself if you loved yourself. I know we ponder over whether this person loves us or if that person loves us, but what about me. How come I don't put myself through the ultimate love test. What is that test you ask?

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 says: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
   
Most times we hear this quoted at weddings, and rightly so. You want to know if the two persons are willing to give all of this things to the other person unselfishly. But am I willing to give all those things to myself? As each day passes of this new found "journey" I'm on, this journey that started out as a hair thing, but really is turning into a self-examination movement, I wonder what will I discover about myself, what will I see that I fall in love with, what will be revealed that I hate.

As the months pass, my "curl pattern" in my kinky hair will be revealed, but more importantly the "substance" of who I am will also show up. Will I lovingly embrace the real me as much as I embrace my new natural curl pattern? I guess we will have to wait and see...To Be Continued

Hair Regimen 101 - Pray for Me

Well another dollar another day. So this week as I head to my vacation, I finally decided that it's probably best for me to go ahead and get my hair done in a straw set. I know that I said I might try to tackle my hair myself, but I really want a style that will last me throughout my vacation that I don't have to worry about.

I did decide however to begin my very own wash regimen. I have read numerous articles from my natural sisters blogs and websites and watched countless videos on the "best" way to wash your newly transitioning hair and all the "right" products" that you should use. Can I say I'm overwhelmed! Clearly everyone thinks their way is the best way, and maybe it is. But I have decided to find something that works for me, try it and see what happens. What's the worst that can happen? (not sure I want to know).

Anyway, between last night and this morning I envisioned (even dreamed) about washing my hair, and I think I've come up with something that I'm going to try. I will have to let you know on Thursday how it all turned out. But the plan is to pre-poo (whatever the heck that means, but it sounds fancy and professional), wash, condition/detangle, and deep condition overnight. I will hit the salon on Thursday morning to get the conditioner washed out, get a hair chop (3 inches), and then get my straw set. Sounds like a job (whew), but I'm excited to see how I hold up under this maintenance (pray for me).

I took the liberty of writing down "my" regimen (only cause I think I will forget - lol), so here it is:

Natural Hair Wash

Pre-poo:

1. Apply coconut oil to the hair in sections

2. Place a plastic cap over the hair and allow the oil to penetrate into the hair shaft for at least 30 minutes

3. Shampoo and condition as usual!

Shampoo Regimen

1. Loosely twist/braid hair in several sections, Wash hair 2x in the shower (I use Carols Daughter Black Vanilla Shampoo - LOVE THIS STUFF)

2. After hair is washed, and rinsed, Apply Conditioner (Tea Tree Tingle - LOVE THIS STUFF - super slippery) and detangle hair one section at a time. Re-twisting each section after detangle is done

3. Rinse hair while hair is still in twisted sections

4. Soak some of the water out of hair, Let hair dry until slightly damp

5. Apply Deep Conditioner ( I will use Hollywood Beauty Olive Cholesterol, mixed with 1 tablespoon of Coconut oil-not sure what this concoction will do to my hair but I will see)

6. Cover head with plastic wrap and apply heat wrap (I purchased the Hair Therapy Wrap Cordless Thermal Turban Heat Wrap from Amazon - first time using it so we will see) for 15-20 min

7. Remove heat wrap, leave on plastic cap, put on satin bonnet, go to bed and rinse out tomorrow

8. Next day add your moisturizer (I love Carol Daughters Hair Milk) or leave in conditioner and style

Bad Hair Day

Yesterday I took down my two french braids, so I could give my hair a good "scratch", I applied some of my "home made" grease (shea butter, coconut oil, and jojoba oil) and proceeded to put my hair is 4 big plats.

My son came in the kitchen, took one look at my hair and said mom you look like a "project" kid. I was almost insulted, but then I laughed realizing this is going to take my son some getting used to, so I let him slide without punching him in the mouth (LOL).

Anyway, I woke up this morning took out my plats, and OMG my hair was HUGE, not a lot of curls, just BIG. I'm standing in the mirror looking at it saying what in the world can I do with it, I gotta get to work. Well I didn't want to wet it, didn't have time to twist it, so I put two big twists on each side and out the door I went. It was not a good hair day - so I thought. Until one of my co-workers (Caucasian) walked up to me and said WOW YOUR HAIR IS BEAUTIFUL like that. I looked at her like really? She then asked the famous question - Can I touch it? We then began to have a conversation about my hair, my beautiful hair, the hair that I woke up to and did not see as so beautiful.

So I guess its true what they say: Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder.

Afro-Centric?

Where do I start with today's post? This weekend I attended a memorial service for my aunt, and prior to the start of service a woman came up to me and said and I quote, "Wow, Your hair is so Afro-centric". Now my hair was still in two french braids from earlier in the week, looking a little dry and a lot more kinky, but nevertheless I was rocking it. So as I stood there looking at her with this look of "disbelief", my tongue was tied because I wasn't sure how to respond to this comment. What did she mean my hair looked Afro-Centric, was it because it was straight, shiny, and flowing down my back? What did she mean? Was it because it looked dry, it looked dull, it was boring, it was braided.

I wasn't sure what she meant, but I found her comment to be interesting, yet ignorant in a subtle way. I'm starting to realize that this journey I am on is one that will not be embraced by many (especially by black sisters), and it is one that most will not fully understand. But what her comment did do for me, besides leave me standing there looking like a deer in headlights, was cause me to really look at "my hair" for what it is. It's a conversation piece, its kinky, its coily, its boring (sometimes), but mainly its who I am - an African American Woman! and on that day I was proud to be one, I was proud to be taking a stand for myself, doing something that most probably would not do, stupid comments and all.

So today as I sit at my desk with my AFRO-CENTRIC french braids, waiting for Thursday to come so I can get my hair washed and straw set, I embrace the AFRICAN side of who I am, with no shame and no apologies. Do You, Only You know How!!

I Stand Convicted

So this morning as I was reading one of my new found websites on natural hair (curlynikki), the topic for discussion was the controversy surrounding The United States new Olympic Champion  Gabrielle Douglas (Gabby). The controversy of all things is her HAIR. Yes, her hair. Gabby is a very beautiful African American girl who has won over the hearts of so many people, of all ethnic backgrounds. She is charming, sweet, humble, mild mannered, soft spoken, and she has won two Olympic gold medals. So whats wrong with her? Her hair. Its obviously relaxed, but the problem is she is rocking an unrelaxed front and a straight weave pony tail in the back. So whats the problem, according to her African American fans (mainly women), she is not representing "us" well, because her hair is unkempt. It aint "done" as some would say.

So where does my conviction come in. As I watched her compete on that first night, I sat there with my husband watching in amazement at how she was able to run, flip, and attacked that vault with such strength and grace. And then I caught a glimpse of her hair, and I said and I quote "Why in the world did her momma let her come on tv looking like that"?. Her gelled up front, and weaved out back. I lost focus of her achievements and began criticizing even laughing at her hair. Yet there I sat, with my "kinky" kitchen (back of my hairline), playing in my tight curled, newly natural locks looking "just" like her. Why was I so confident about my new naps, yet so critical of hers? It didn't dawn on me until this morning as I was reading that article and this flood of shame ran through my body that I was being judgmental and I asked God to forgive me. Here I was being judgmental of this beautiful black child, all the while not wanting people to judge me for letting go of the creamy crack (yet they are). How dare I?

Matthew 7:1 says "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. I know the Bible, I'm a student of the Bible and a Teacher of the Bible. I profess to believe in and live by what it teaches, yet here I was failing in my flesh, doing the very thing it says not to do. I stand Convicted! 

So to my beautiful black young sister "GABBY" - I apologize. I think you are an amazing young woman, you are talented, and you are gifted. You are a model to so many young women, and today you have even been a model for me. Thank you for showing me (without saying a word) the error of my ways, and I only hope that one day I grow up to be just like you.

Over Zealous??

Well, lets see where do I start. Yesterday I had a bright idea that I would roll my twists on perm rollers so that today when I took them out, my hair would be "really" curly all the way to end. So I got home and began rolling up those twists, and had the most DREADFUL sleep ever. Those dern things hurt. It took my half way through the night to find a position to sleep in that didn't feel like my head was going to fall off. I woke up this morning in anticipation of seeing the outcome of my "bright idea". I took out the rollers, and man was my my hair curled up tight to my head. I'm thinking to myself, how is this really going to turn out? I begin separating my twists, and WOW - nothing what I expected. It turned out "bad"...I had a huge afro puff sitting on top of my head with no order to it all.

But this is the surprising part - I didn't freak out. I really didn't freak out. Normally I would have panicked, cried, and called in sick to go to the salon and get that beast tamed. But this morning, NO I just looked at it, loved it, and said oh well we will try again. I did call my girlfriend at work and asked her if she would put two french braids in it when she came in. She said YEP! So Thank God for the french braid in the bush.

I'm learning that this process is trial and error. You can't get discouraged, you can't give up, eventually if you keep going forward you will end up where you were supposed to be anyway. And that is just not with your hair, but with anything in life. So on Saturday night, I'm going to tackle my tresses again and attempt another two strand twists. I'm thinking to myself the twists probably have to stay in my hair longer than 2 days??? Umm, I don't know but I will keep it moving, no matter what.

My hair didn't cooperate, but that didn't stop me from loving it and loving me today!

"Your hair is whatever you want it to be. Think it’s sexy, sassy, or elegant? It will be. Think it’s ugly? It will oblige" Unknown

Baby Hair, Where did that come from?

Baby Hair? Where did that come from? So I'm standing in the mirror last night as I let down my two strand twist and lo and behold I see something that I haven't seen in years - very fine baby hair gracing my forehead. I touched them with caution, not sure of what to expect. And then I realized it, my hair was thanking me for ''freeing" her. It's amazing the little things we take for granted, I never knew that I would get such a feeling from seeing those precious baby hairs.

So, back to my twists. I took down my twist (I had a pin up) so that I could retwist some of my hair with this "shea butter" (Brand: Beautiful Curls) I purchased from Whole Foods, and can I say WOW!! My curl definition and pattern is OFF THE CHARTS!! My hair was so soft, so springy, so kinky, and yet so amazing. Does this sound weird? That I'm falling in love with my hair. Well I am, I stood there looking at it as if it was the first time I had ever seen it, wondering why it took me so long to find my way back to her, yet so grateful that I have.  I know that we have a long journey to go, but I'm so excited.

Catch this - I was talking to my co-worker this morning and she said what are you planning to do with you hair for your vacation? My original plan was to go to the salon and get my staple straw set, but I quickly, without hesitation said: I think I may do it myself. What? Did I hear myself right? Do it yourself? Ummm, its a thought that I'm highly considering so we will see.

I'm going to Sally's today to get some perm rods so that I can roll my twists, in preparation for my twist out, cause I still got some relaxed ends that won't curl quite yet. So we will see how that turns out - I will keep you posted.

“Take the kinks out of your mind instead of your hair.” Marcus Garvey.